Which Parts Of A Relationship Need To Be Balanced?Author: +Freddie Cook Balance is a necessity in any good, stable relationship, but it’s not always easy to achieve. Mainly because it means different things to different people and it can mean a lot of hard work and dedication.
In an ideal world it would happen automatically, and, to be honest, a lot of the time it does, but it’s human nature for each of us to want our own way.
Why Exactly Do Relationships Need To Be Balanced?
This is where imbalance in a relationship can occur, when one partner gets their own way more than the other.
And just to make things even more difficult, there are areas of a relationship where balance is not obvious and we don’t even think about it or notice that an imbalance is present.
We all have our differences and these will clash in some form or another. How you deal with these differences can be the deciding factor in just how trouble free your relationship will be in the long term. If you want to make sure your relationship will last for a long time, then consider these tips.
This is one of those areas I alluded to above, it’s not obvious that trust in a relationship should be balanced.
Yes, we all know trust is a two way street but we don’t all seem to know exactly what trust means. It’s therefore difficult to spot any imbalance.
Trust is not just about avoiding affairs or situations where an affair may be the outcome, there are other areas of a relationship where trust takes other forms. For example:
- Keeping agreements that have been made with each other.
- Being able to trust that your partner will back you up when needed
- keeping appointments
- Telling lies (for any reason)
- Hiding things. . . feelings, situations, events. . . anything, from each other
- trusting each other’s reactions in certain situations
This includes making promises to each other that each of you keep, even if the promise itself doesn’t seem very important.
Loyalty is a very important part of any relationship, it needs to be demonstrated.
Sounds silly I know, appointments?. . . it’s not a business. But being able to rely on each other, like being on time, or being in a certain place. . . is as much a part of trust as anything else is.
Even “well intenioned” or “little white lies” can erode trust. They may not seem much at the time, but they all have their effect on the overall trust in any relationship.
This really shows a level of distrust and should be avoided.
Almost like reading someone’s mind? Actually it’s more about consistency. If you can’t rely on each other’s reactions then it, again, highlights a level of distrust.
and many more, the point is that both of you need to be able to rely on and trust each other in all areas of your relationship to the same extent, that’s where the balance comes in.
The problem with communication in a relationship is that very often one partner manages to communicate their needs, wants and desires but fails to hear their partner’s. Or hears. . . but fails to act on it.
This is a very common imbalance that is very obvious to the partner that is not being heard, but the other partner is blind to it. Eventually, if it’s not addressed, it can be very destructive to the relationship.
Discussing grievances isn’t just a case of both of you talking about them, you both have to hear each other’s as well, and compromise is essential. Compromise is another part of communication and must also be balanced.
Saying “you’re forgiven” can be an easy thing to say, but truly meaning it and being able to forgive, AND then forget, is another thing altogether… it’s sooo hard thing to get this balanced.
You both have to be able to forget after forgiveness has been given. Which means never bringing it up again. If only one of you can manage this, then the imbalance will eventually take it’s toll on the relationship.
One of the many problems that plagues couples is their inability to own up to their own mistakes. It’s very easy to criticize others and, at the same time, be unable to accept criticism.
Everyone makes mistakes, no one is exempt, and being able to admit that to others is crucial.
It’s not a weakness admitting you are wrong… it’s simply the right thing to do. The balance here is being able to accept and own up to your own fallibility as easily as you point out your partner’s failings to them.
Time together is very important. Life can take over if you don’t keep an eye on it. There are so many areas of life that demand attention where a balance has to be reached for a relationship to flourish.
Spending time together, sharing your joint lives is such an important part of a strong relationship, but it’s very often neglected, that’s the one area that loses out to the pressures that are put on almost every couple, and it’s not just work and money. . .
There are many pressures, including family and friends that can come between a couple, and these external pressures have to be dealt with to maintain the balance and keep the relationship healthy.
Being in a balanced relationship does not require any sort of magic, making it work is not rocket science and there are no secret tricks you need to learn. Mostly it’s common sense and understanding the complexities of a relationship.
It’s more about hard work and an earnest desire to make things work than it is about tricks. Sometimes you are just with the wrong person, other times you just need to put forth thought and effort to make sure everything works out in the end.
Balance is something you both should always be aware of in your relationship. Try and strive for an equilibrium in every area of your lives. You won’t always be successful, but the more you try, the more successful you’ll be.
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