Fixing Your RelationshipAuthor: +Freddie Cook
Fixing your relationship while you are both still together is one thing. Trying to fix your relationship after you’ve already broken up is an entirely different matter. There are so many extra problems to solve that most people give up way too soon, simply because they are overwhelmed.
A working plan is needed. You need to know what stands a good chance of working and, just as important, all the things that are likely to destroy your attempts at reconciling with your ex.
Trying to fix things and get your ex back in a random or piecemeal fashion is a recipe for disaster. You need to, first, find out what works and what makes things worse, and then do only the working things and do them in the right order. In other words… a plan.
Nothing is ever certain where relationships are involved. There are way too many different possibilities, personalities and problems to account for. After all, we are all unique, and so are our individual situations.
What is certain though, is that you will increase your chances of success dramatically… if you go about repairing your relationship the right way.
I’m sure, like most people in your situation, that your number one priority is to rescue your breakup and get back together with your ex as quickly as possible.
You see that as your first, all important, step to getting things back to normal.
Moreover, you see becoming a loving couple again as the most urgent problem to concentrate on. So much so that you’re prepared to rush into getting the ball rolling and do whatever you have to do to accomplish this.
Rushing at it, before you’re ready, is a recipe for disaster.
Your Breakup Rescue Is Possible
So, get yourself into a more positive frame of mind – you do have some things in your favor.
So, don’t assume :
- that you are in a weak position just because you have broken up.
- that you have to do all the running.
- that your ex won’t have second thoughts.
- that you’ll never get back together again.
These are some of the things that are wrongly assumed by most people that are trying to rescue a breakup, and is one of the reasons that they usually fail.
But you’re not one of them. Are you?
If you jump in too quickly, or start chasing your ex, you are in danger of appearing very weak and pathetic.
You will be attempting to manipulate your ex, appealing to them in some form or other.
Either begging them for forgiveness, or forgiving them and asking them to come back.
And even worse, you’ll be doing all this while all the bad emotions from the breakup are still raw for both of you.
If it works, it will be short lived and you’re most likely going to end up breaking up this time as well.
Besides, nobody ever wants to feel they’re being manipulated by another person.
And, just remember that attraction comes from confidence… not weakness, and you really want your ex to be attracted to you again, not simply coerced into coming back.
Take your time.
Go about saving your breakup in the right order
You can get back together again if you take your time and think about your breakup correctly.
Repairing your relationship BEFORE getting back together again is what you really should be concentrating on first.
Done in that order gives you the best chance, not only of success in getting back together again, but more importantly… staying together after you succeed in reuniting.
You want your rebuilt relationship to be better, stronger and more stable than it was when you both broke up.
Returning to things as they were when your relationship ended will achieve very little, if anything at all. The causes of your breakup have not gone away.
Whatever your own particular problems were, whether one of you strayed and had an affair – or all the way to – simply being tired of arguing all the time, doesn’t really matter. There are ways of dealing with these things.
The important thing is… sort out these problems first, then get back together again.
And don’t fall into the trap of rushing things either. Take your time and tackle things… smarter… not faster.
Speaking of taking your time, the one question I get asked more often than any other is, “Does no contact with your ex make them want to come back?” Or, “Does time apart help fix a relationship?”
The short answer is… no. It won’t MAKE them want to get back together with you, nor will it fix your relationship all by itself.
What it does do though, is give both you and your ex time to get all those destructive emotions back to normal and allow them to reconsider the breakup and their part in it, in their own mind. They WILL have their own regrets and guilt to work through.
A breakup causes a highly emotional state in everyone involved in a relationship collapse. The one doing the breaking up does not get off lightly just because they are calling the shots.
If you give them enough time to work through their own problems and emotions then you will achieve several things that will help you in the long run.
It’s probably easier if I explain this the other way round.
If you pester your ex every time you get the chance to communicate with them, whether it’s talking face to face, calling them, texting, im, whatever… the only thing you’ll achieve is to make them want to avoid you at all costs. (although, texting can work if done right)
Not only that, but you’re actively keeping all the emotions running at a high level… perhaps even running at an increasingly high level.
You’re also reinforcing their belief that the breakup is a good thing… you’re giving them no chance to consider their situation or their feelings for you.
But if you do give them the space they need, then you are not shutting off the lines of communication.
You are allowing them to question themselves.
This self doubt and self questioning is a natural human reaction.
This makes your job of patching things up a whole lot easier as they will be more open to your suggestions when the time comes.
If you’re willing to take my first piece of advice and fix your relationship problems first, then you can use this time apart to figure out exactly what your problems are and take steps to fix them.
When you eventually do approach your ex you will have something concrete to offer them, and as you’ve given your ex the time and space to sort themselves out they’ll be in a much more accepting frame of mind for your offer.
You’ll no doubt amaze them by all the work and thought you’ve put into patching things up. This can be very impressive if you do things right and present it in the right way.
Most often a well thought out plan of action, that takes all these things into account, is necessary for you to succeed in getting back together with your ex.
If you are serious about fixing your breakup, reigniting the flame of passion and getting your relationship back to a loving and caring one again… then get a plan together now.
Read this post ==> How To Make Your Ex Give In To You. . . and Save Your Relationship. . .