How To Save Your Relationship After Cheating

What’s The Reason For Cheating?

Author: +Freddie Cook

The first thing to understand when you’re trying to save your relationship after cheating, is that adultery never just happens. There is always a reason behind it.

So the simple answer for how to survive the infidelity and save your relationship after all this cheating depends on finding out what caused it. . . And then finding a solution for it.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? . . . But it’s not.

If you’re the one being cheated on, then the cause you uncover will decide whether or not you can fix it.

If you’re the one doing the cheating then the cause will decide whether or not you want to find a solution to your problem.

The Cheater

If you take the stance of the cheater, then some possible causes are:

  • You are no longer in love with your partner and looking for a way out.
  • You’re insecure and need reassurance of some kind, an ego thing.
  • You are not getting what you want, or need, from your relationship. This could be sexual, emotional, spiritual or psychological.
  • You’re feeling the effects of frustration about your life in general. Could even be work related and nothing at all to do with your relationship.
  • You are getting back at your partner for something, otherwise known as revenge.
  • Perhaps You feel your partner is controlling you at some level and cheating gives you back some of your lost control.
  • You could even be unsure of how committed you are to your partner and testing the waters to find out.

There are, of course, many more possibilities. But regardless of the reason, as the cheater you have to be aware that cheating and adultery will always hurt your present partner, possibly even scar them emotionally for life. . . and YOU won’t escape unscathed either.

There is always a better way of handling your problem other than having a fling.

The Cheated

If you’re the one being cheated on, then can you be objective enough to find out the reason, discuss it with your partner to find a solution, and. . . are you prepared to forgive?

Whatever your situation is, it will take both of you wanting to save your relationship for it to work into the future.

One of the biggest things you will need to do to save your relationship after an affair is for both of you to be brutally honest with each other. You need to get to the real cause of the affair and the part that each of you played.

It’s very rare indeed to break down the cause where the fault lies with just one partner. Most often, as a couple, you share responsibility to some degree.

Who’s To Blame?

Blame for ruining your relationship is always shared by both of you, not always equally, but there are reasons your relationship fell apart to the point where one of you thought they needed to have their needs satisfied by someone else.

Once you can honestly admit what went wrong you can solve the problem. . . If you and your partner can communicate effectively.

This means you have to avoid name calling, finger pointing, and accusations.

If you can communicate in a mature and adult fashion about the problems, and what you can do to fix them, you will be in a good position to save your relationship and most likely make it stronger in the process.

A good heart-to-heart can bring you both closer together.

Save Your Relationship After Cheating

The bottom line is that not all relationships should be saved. If you are involved with someone who has a long history of cheating you should just move on.

They are obviously too concerned with their own selfish wants and needs, and they will never change.

If, on the other hand, someone gave into a moment of weakness you might be able to work together to save your relationship and overcome this affair that has come between you both.

Read this post ==> How To Make Your Ex Give In To You. . . and Save Your Relationship. . .

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Can We Survive His Cheating?

Infidelity, Affairs, Adultery, It’s All Cheating

Sure, you can survive his cheating – just forget his infidelity ever happened and carry on as though nothing has changed.

That, of course, is what HE would really love you to do.

Not very practical though. It’s hard to forget all the pain and anguish. Not to mention the complete loss of trust.

Although simply ignoring his infidelity is an option, if you want your relationship to survive into the future then that would be the exact opposite of what really needs to happen.

Don’t give in to this bad solution, you’d only become a patsy and be used again in the future. His mistakes have to be reconciled, to your satisfaction, if you want to keep your relationship intact.

Why did he feel the need to cheat on you?

Read this post ==> How To Make Your Ex Give In To You. . . and Save Your Relationship. . .

What problem does he have that he feels infidelity will help overcome it?

If you’ve both had a good and loving relationship up until his cheating occurred then you stand a good chance of resolving this issue, many relationships and marriages do survive after an affair. A lot of it depends on you though.

He will have guilt and probably a lot of shame to get over, but you will have an awful lot more.

You’re no doubt feeling hurt, confused and let down. A betrayal like cheating causes an awful lot of damage to a relationship, and to the person he cheated on… you in this case.

If he is truly remorseful, then forgiving him for betraying you is possible. But can you get past the images of the two of them together?

A lot of this depends on the nature of his infidelity.

Was it a chance encounter with a stranger that happened once and was never repeated?

Was it an affair that occurred over a lengthy period of time?

Was it with someone he knows well?

Was it with someone you know well?

All these things make a difference.

Is he willing to discuss everything about his affair with you?

I know that you will have lots of very personal and intimate questions to ask. Will he answer them honestly and with enough detail to satisfy you?

Your confidence has very likely taken a huge hit.

Do you compare yourself to this other woman and wonder what she did for your boyfriend that you didn’t?

Do you wonder if he found her more attractive than you?

The point is, unless you can restore your confidence enough to believe in your own worth so that comparing yourself to his concubine isn’t necessary, then you are going to struggle with accepting his apology and being able to start trusting him again.

On the plus side, you have a shared history together. Probably a lot of your friends are now mutual friends. You’ll likely know each other’s families.

You no doubt can still remember the love and fun you both shared before his cheating happened. These good times you both enjoyed should help with pulling you back together again.

There is a lot more to a relationship than sex.

If you can find out what is wrong in your relationship that may have had a bearing on his infidelity, then you can both work to fix that.

That may help you on the trust issue.

If you can work on yourself and your confidence, then that may help with the images and feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

Relationships do survive an affair. Not all of them, but enough of them to give you hope if you really do want to fix your relationship. Find out how to plan your reconciliation properly…

Read this post ==> How To Make Your Ex Give In To You. . . and Save Your Relationship. . .

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Emotional Infidelity And How To Spot It

Is Emotional Infidelity Really Cheating?

Emotional infidelity happens when a spouse or partner becomes too attached to someone outside the couple relationship.

There is no physical involvement, sex is normally not an issue.

And this is often the excuse someone committing emotional infidelity uses for continuing the affair. They say “Nothing physical is happening, we’re just good friends.”

The question is, are they right?

Lets have a look and see…

What Are The Problems With Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional infidelity very often, though not always, precedes a full blown affair. But… even when it doesn’t, it is still cheating in it’s own right.

If we look at two aspects of a relationship, the physical and the emotional aspects, then the emotional affair is often seen as the MOST destructive to the relationship.

Read this post ==> How To Make Your Ex Give In To You. . . and Save Your Relationship. . .

Cheating on a purely sexual level can often be forgiven and dealt with easier than a betrayal on the emotional level.

It is seen as fundamentally more personal.

There is a lot more to a relationship than sharing sex only with each other, there are connections on so many other levels, a true loving and caring bond that is shared between each other.

The emotional side is a deep and necessary part of a marriage or relationship that should be as exclusive as the physical side, it’s such a large part of what makes a couple truly united that it’s often taken for granted.

That’s partly why an emotional affair has such a devastating effect on a marriage.

They Feel As Much For This Other Person As They Do For You

Emotional infidelity is when your partner forms those SAME BONDS with another person. As soon as the emotional affair begins, the destruction of YOUR relationship begins.

This is because it is so often accompanied by an emotional withdrawal from the original relationship.

You go from being your partner’s most important friend and lover to being a stranger in your own relationship. This freezing out can be difficult to deal with, and sometimes hard to recognize.

You may feel the problem is with you, and it’s you that is doing something wrong. Your partner may even encourage you to believe this, blaming you for all the negative parts of your relationship.

It can often be difficult to uncover an emotional infidelity. It can be less obvious than cheating on a sexual level. Even when discovered, it can be very difficult to prove it, or even get your partner to admit to it.

One sign can be a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional cheating will cause the person to behave differently.

This is a key point that you need to keep in mind when you suspect an emotional affair.

Everybody has friends; men have their best buddies, women have their girlfriends, and also friends of the opposite sex. But…

How Far Should A Friendship Go?

Flirting can, and often is, harmless. Many people have close friends of the opposite sex, people with whom they may even confide in about much of their lives.

This isn’t necessarily emotional infidelity, but… the thing to look out for is signs of guilt.

However, guilt is not always obvious to spot in others.

The tendency is when your partner is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level, is they feel compelled to hide it.

No one hides their relationships with just friends from their partner. When they’re hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

But what does it mean if they do the opposite? If they make no attempt at all to hide their emotional closeness?

Well, if this happens. . . be careful.

It’s normally done as a huge bluff, especially if it seems they are going out of their way to flaunt their closeness in front of you. Often accompanied by an equally exaggerated display that NOTHING else is going on.

The two opposites happening together actually condemns them. These two extremes make it almost certain they are having an emotional affair… and at your expense.

So, What’s The Answer?

Emotional cheating is a problem, actually several problems and one of them is — it tends to be one of the early signs of a relationship going bad, perhaps because of the infidelity itself.

Another one is — the next step after emotional cheating is usually physical cheating. If you can recognize and do something about the emotional cheating, you may have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.

The two biggest signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your partner is pulling away from you, becoming distant or hostile, this is a big sign.

Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this can also be a sign.

Ideally you need to catch an emotional affair in its early stages and fix it.

This can be tough to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out advice and instruction on how to stop it and fix your relationship because, even if the emotional affair hasn’t been going on for long, it will have damaged your relationship.

Read this post ==> How To Make Your Ex Give In To You. . . and Save Your Relationship. . .

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